Wednesday, 10.24.18
11:44 am
36 years old
186 pounds
Prescott, AZ
In the early 21st century, something awful happened: humanity was given the ability to send text messages. At first, we thought this was a good thing. Business could move faster. The populace could stay more informed. We could communicate with one another at a rate previously unseen in history. We were moving into the Information Age with gusto and it felt like the Right Thing at the Right Time. We did not know then what a terrible and powerful weapon we were handed.
A text is to its recipient as a blank page is to a writer. Devoid of context, tone, or voice, a text can be whatever the recipient wants/thinks/needs/feels it to be. The original intent can only be explained in person, but that happens much later (if it happens at all) and oftentimes, the explanation is too little, too late or heard by deaf ears. In a flash, a text message can undo hours spent together, long talks of empathy and commiseration, and a shared bonding experience. If placed correctly on the support beams of a relationship, a text message is a bomb that will tear the whole enterprise asunder. Original intent does not matter as one surveys rubble. All that is left is to deal with the aftermath.
Imagine that a plumber comes into your home to fix a leaky faucet. You're grateful for their assistance because this leaky faucet has been causing you no small amount of stress. On the way out of the house, imagine that this plumber cracks a pipe in your home that causes flooding. Imagine that the plumber then turns to you and says, "You should probably handle floods better," as they exit your home. How would you react?
Imagine that a friend with whom you have plans changes these plans without talking to you about it first. This obviously upsets you, and you tell your friend so. You send a message wondering why these plans were changed without warning. Imagine, then, that this same friend yells into the phone at you, "Your feelings don't really matter right now!" Then twelve hours later, this same person tells you that what you need is to be more empathetic. How would you react?
Imagine that a person you like romantically invites you to a weekend wedding getaway in the mountains with their parents. This seems like a very big step, yes? It feels like the relationship is going in the right direction, yes? It fills your heart because it's been a long time since someone wanted you to come away with them, to meet their parents, to celebrate the union of their oldest and best friends. So you tell your romantic interest that you love them. This declaration frightens your romantic interest. Imagine that telling them you love them is the last time you ever speak to them. Imagine that functionally, this person disappears from your life overnight without word or notice. How would you react?
Now, in those three scenarios presented above, imagine that however you react, it is wrong. No matter what you do or say or think or feel, however you react is going to be seen as wrong or condescending or mean or cruel or uncaring or thoughtless or whatever the case. However you react, you are going to be yelled at for reacting like you did. Whatever thought you had that led to your reaction was the wrong thought. Whatever feelings you had that led to your reaction were the wrong feelings. Whatever you said in your reaction was the wrong thing to say.
How much longer would you continue to participate in that game?
11:44 am
36 years old
186 pounds
Prescott, AZ
In the early 21st century, something awful happened: humanity was given the ability to send text messages. At first, we thought this was a good thing. Business could move faster. The populace could stay more informed. We could communicate with one another at a rate previously unseen in history. We were moving into the Information Age with gusto and it felt like the Right Thing at the Right Time. We did not know then what a terrible and powerful weapon we were handed.
A text is to its recipient as a blank page is to a writer. Devoid of context, tone, or voice, a text can be whatever the recipient wants/thinks/needs/feels it to be. The original intent can only be explained in person, but that happens much later (if it happens at all) and oftentimes, the explanation is too little, too late or heard by deaf ears. In a flash, a text message can undo hours spent together, long talks of empathy and commiseration, and a shared bonding experience. If placed correctly on the support beams of a relationship, a text message is a bomb that will tear the whole enterprise asunder. Original intent does not matter as one surveys rubble. All that is left is to deal with the aftermath.
Imagine that a plumber comes into your home to fix a leaky faucet. You're grateful for their assistance because this leaky faucet has been causing you no small amount of stress. On the way out of the house, imagine that this plumber cracks a pipe in your home that causes flooding. Imagine that the plumber then turns to you and says, "You should probably handle floods better," as they exit your home. How would you react?
Imagine that a friend with whom you have plans changes these plans without talking to you about it first. This obviously upsets you, and you tell your friend so. You send a message wondering why these plans were changed without warning. Imagine, then, that this same friend yells into the phone at you, "Your feelings don't really matter right now!" Then twelve hours later, this same person tells you that what you need is to be more empathetic. How would you react?
Imagine that a person you like romantically invites you to a weekend wedding getaway in the mountains with their parents. This seems like a very big step, yes? It feels like the relationship is going in the right direction, yes? It fills your heart because it's been a long time since someone wanted you to come away with them, to meet their parents, to celebrate the union of their oldest and best friends. So you tell your romantic interest that you love them. This declaration frightens your romantic interest. Imagine that telling them you love them is the last time you ever speak to them. Imagine that functionally, this person disappears from your life overnight without word or notice. How would you react?
Now, in those three scenarios presented above, imagine that however you react, it is wrong. No matter what you do or say or think or feel, however you react is going to be seen as wrong or condescending or mean or cruel or uncaring or thoughtless or whatever the case. However you react, you are going to be yelled at for reacting like you did. Whatever thought you had that led to your reaction was the wrong thought. Whatever feelings you had that led to your reaction were the wrong feelings. Whatever you said in your reaction was the wrong thing to say.
How much longer would you continue to participate in that game?
Comments
Post a Comment